Cameron’s cold cuts

David Cameron at the deli

Here’s the RandomLifeData take on David Cameron’s #PigGate, or the #SnoutRage scandal. For anyone that’s been in outer space recently, it has been alleged that David Cameron once put his penis in the mouth of a dead pig (the decapitated head, naturally).

While this titillates many people, and one might argue that someone that’s been through social conditioning by the Bullingdon Club and other elitist organisations to the extent of necro-bestiality needs to have their governing policies questioned for signs of depravity… at the end of the day it’s not such a big story politically for 2 reasons: some people will think it’s made up and Cameron has claimed he won’t be running in 2020 anyway.

Did I just write ‘necro-bestiality’ in a politics commentary???

Of course some people think Cameron will run in 2020 – pulling a Farage, to coin a phrase – and if Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband have shown us anything, it’s that personality really counts in an election; so if Cameron were to run, this kind of character assassination could be slightly detrimental. But I just don’t see him going back on his word now that it’s too easy to accuse him of telling ‘porky-pies’.

The important thing therefore is to use piggate to draw attention to what British politics will be like regardless of whether it’s Cameron or Osborne or May or whomever that’s in charge as a  Conservative PM. Hence my photo-cartoon about Cameron’s love of cold cuts:

David Cameron at the deli
Thinking ahead, beyond pig-gate, what would Conservatives do without a deficit?


So my thought for the week is – Conservatives have been blaming austerity on the deficit; we need to ‘balance the books’ and that takes ‘tough decisions’ a.k.a. cuts to services. But why, when we have the best, most efficient health service in the world, is Cameron pressing for £20 billion in ‘efficiency savings’ that have been labelled as bringing the NHS to breaking point?

It could be that crippling the NHS provides great incentive for offering out NHS services to private health provisioners and that many top Tories stand to make a lot of money from that. Despite this self-interest apparently governing the Royal Mail sell-off by the Tories, I’m not so inclined to see these furtive conspiracies as the main drive for Tory privatisation (maybe just an added bonus).

The simple truth is that Conservatives really like selling off state assets to the private sector. They believe in it. Small government and private sector provision is the Tory mantra.

When they brought in ‘Right-to-buy’ in the 80s, it was very popular and thousands of people bought houses at knock-down prices but although cheap homeownership has worked for the relative few, it’s left millions of people on housing waiting lists – because the Tories used to the money to pay off debt and left the private sector to build more houses which they resoundingly failed to do. Despite an ongoing shortfall in housing, the Conservatives have re-invigorated their Right to Buy scheme and are evening aiming to roll it out to Housing Associations. The private sector is still failing to build enough houses and the only people benefiting from cheap house sales are private landlords. Yet the Tories still believe in it because: small government!

Although I’m sure many Tory MPs own large property portfolios, the Right to Buy is not an example of Tories lining their pockets with a cheap sell-off of public assets. It shows that such allegations do not fully explain the Tory practice of privatisation. As an ideology, cuts and privatisation will outlast Cameron and piggate – it’ll continue well past the deficit and any excuses about ‘tough decisions’. If the Tories were to clear the deficit they’d say ‘see, trust us with the economy… and meet our friends from Bupa.’

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